Sometimes, a CareGivingOldGuy feels like a wet noodle in getting things done, but using the phrase “stamina al dente” (**) helps a bit!
Cooking show fans will know that “pasta al dente” is perfectly cooked, not so undercooked as to have a raw, crunchy core, or so overcooked to be soggy, but just cooked right enough to have some texture and be toothsome.
There are lots of reasons a home caregiver may feel like a wet noodle, from a common cold, to poor sleep, to a serious medical condition with treatments that leave one with significant fatigue and other side effects.
Some military guy liked to use wet noodles in his example for leadership: “…you can’t push a wet noodle, you have to pull them!!” [He probably never had those famous military battlefield foods, or frozen noodles you can microwave now].
Soggy mushy noodles, K. Micalizzi, CC BY-NC-2.0
But for wet noodle home caregivers, who or what does the pushing or the pulling? A personal sense of… Duty? Devotion? Love? Obligation? Guilt? Gratitude?
Caregiving Old Guy sometimes describes himself, and aspires to deal with his conditions with the phrase “stamina al dente.” The old energy level and stamina has taken a hit, and by mid-morning sometimes a fatigue wall suddenly appears.
A wet noodle is a wet noodle, that might be the reality, but maybe there’s still a sturdy inner core that compels one to accomplish the daily routines necessary for caregiving.
The Japanese evidently have a phrase for the purpose of living, “ikigai,“ (ee-key-guy) that might pertain. One literal translation is “life worth.” It’s said to be one of the secrets of Japanese longevity, emotional well-being and happiness.
Some describe ikigai is why one gets up in the morning. Three of its four components are really apropos: doing what you love, doing what you’re good at, doing what the world needs. Its fourth component is something about getting paid, but one could argue that the cost-savings in home caregiving is a compensation.
Ikigai venn diagram, CC BY-NC 2.0, Ben Freeman @ flickr.com
Sometimes, CareGiving Old Guy needs an additional inspiration, so he goes to “Up and At ‘Em, Atom Ant!”
Up and At ‘Em, Atom Ant! CC BY-3.0, thekingofart16, deviantart.com
On the non-personal side, there was an intensely medical perspective paper with an overview of dementia caregiving and policy issues published late last year: Gerineuropalliative care, NEJM [paywall], and as a webnews item.
The authors (UCSF and Harvard) say: “…Caring for older adults with dementia and their care partners is complicated, time-consuming, unpredictable, and also rewarding….”
That reward might include some spicy noodles al dente, firm enough to use chopsticks (if one could just muster enough appetite and stamina to eat them)!
pasta, chopsticks, CC on pexels.com
[(**) Caregiving Old Guy might just trademark this term, but I think it already has copyright protection. It could be CC BY-NC-SA 4.0, I guess]
