(image Valiphotos @ pixabay)
Autumn is here, beautifully cool, and the leaves are already falling. Halloween and Mexico’s “Day of the Dead” are just weeks away. So it seems natural, not macabre or depressing, for a CareGiving Old Guy to think about the endgame and practical issues: 1) paperwork, 2) money, 3) a family caregiver’s disability, and 4) legacy.
Needing caregiving doesn’t necessarily shorten a life span. Despite some occupational hazards, I doubt that the action of caregiving does either. The fact is that women live longer than men. Although one can find life span calculators, at least for some diagnoses, everyone is an individual, and generally folks want to beat the odds.
More than just a long duration of life, many want an enjoyable life, along with some control over “destiny.” Of course, living an enjoyable life may entail a few risks. Not just bungee jumping and sky diving, but we make a quick and quiet personal calculation about that second helping of prime rib, or pizza, or Double Dutch Apple Pie.
I’m amazed and grateful to be still kicking around as an Old Guy, ‘cuz I have some conditions that will predictably shorten my life; I’m betting on them. I used an online calculator for estimating my life expectancy, given those conditions. Since I may well die first, what can I control now, and even afterwards, from the grave?
Death is inevitable, so planning is all about control. Warning: these are just the doodlings of a CareGiving Old Guy, mainly about myself, and I’m not a counselor, a financial person (disclosure: I like gambling) or a legal type, so beware.
First thing: paperwork (click for some nice templates). My own Advanced Directive makes it clear that I do not want obnoxious life-prolonging measures, and the family knows what the documents say, and where they are. My Will would then create a Trust to help direct funds to provide for my disabled spouse, and names who will control the money and other assets.
Our lawyer said I could simply attach a letter to the Will specifying what to do with my precious 3-D comic collection, how to recycle my old blogs, and what songs I should have playing at the funeral. Unwitnessed letters like that may not be followed, but I keep changing my playlist anyway.
More seriously, one can include some guidance and strategies for caregiving, to those named as Trustees, along with preferences for the dealing with specific family heirlooms, etc.
Second thing: money. Neither of us are working for income. So I guess there are two main issues: a) having enough for spending now (cashflow); and b) having enough for the surviving spouse, whomever dies first. This led me to my first bet, taking my Social Security “early,” well before the recommended age, near 70.
If I die before Social Security thinks I should, I will be leaving “my” money on the table. I compared my own condition-based life expectancy to a Social Security “breakeven calculator.” My bet: it’s better to exploit Social Security now, not waiting to maximize the monthly payout, since I may not be around for my breakeven birthday. BTW, I’m not sure about this, but the surviving spouse might have to meet certain criteria to get the deceased spouse’s Social Security.
My second bet involves insurances, my own Life Insurance, Health, and Long Term Care (LTC). These are all a bit like gambling to me. You put your money on the table, and hope there will be some payoff. Casinos have an automatic charge for house profit (the vigorish), and insurance companies will make sure they make a profit, too, but we consumers want some value more than chance.
If my own term life insurance, a holdover from when the kids lived at home, is still good when I plotz over, it will be one of the few tax-free assets for the family. My health insurance will get cheaper if I make it to age 65 and start with Medicare for my conditions. The biggest gamble, from my POV, is Long Term Care insurance.
I’m paying premiums for a LTC policy left over from my former work life. I hope to never need it; yeah, “I’d rather die first,” which is too easy a joke, right? Then all the premiums will be a loss. Oh well, car insurance works that way too. To contrast, I consider life insurance and health insurance almost like investment club payments, because a payout is more certain.
The third thing dovetails onto LTC insurance, thinking about what happens to our family situation if I get disabled. I wish there were some kind of disability insurance for family caregivers; one of my worst case scenarios is having something happen to me so that I couldn’t do caregiving, but then need caregiving myself, a double whammy.
So my third bet is theoretical, betting that I will stay healthy enough to avoid LTC. I might have to do some healthy things, like eating bland food. Ironically, this is my favorite doctor joke: a cardiologist sees his oncology buddy eating, and notices how carefully he trims off all the fat. So the heart guy comes up and says, “Great job, trimming that fat!” The cancer guy replies, “Yeah, I salt it and save the best for last, since I’d rather die of a heart attack than cancer!”
The last thing is about leaving a “Legacy”: I think that by naming non-spouse beneficiaries (i.e. adult children) for some funds, not every asset has to go into the Trust specified for my spouse’s caregiving (which I’m hoping will have enough funds otherwise).
So kids, barring some crazy social or natural or market disaster, you will get some of what’s left, directly. Sorry about the taxes, but I guess any retirement fund or retirement annuity gets taxed after death, even if they are well below the Wealth/Gift tax category. There’s some old trick about adding the funds to your own IRA, but I heard they’re trying to close all loopholes, so I wouldn’t bet on it!
