Maybe we know too many lawyers but turns out that some of the paperwork became necessary. We revamped our Wills about 20 years ago, and learned about paperwork like General Durable Power of Attorney (POA) and the separate POA for Healthcare. We already knew about Advanced Directives, and “code” and “no code” concepts, since both my wife and I worked in healthcare.
After her diagnosis, we got an updated POA that she signed in front of a notary at our bank. I made copies, but may have sent the original off somewhere, BIG MISTAKE! That same bank later insisted they couldn’t transfer certain funds without the original POA, and by that time she could no longer write her signature adequately. I can’t remember the details, but there was a work-around.
Performing transactions in my wife’s retirement accounts was another quagmire, even with the right authority and the right documents. It took over four months and repeated follow-up emails to move our joint accounts around. Sheesh! Yeah, old guy caregivers have time, but really?
I dealt with sad and poignant end of life issues many times in my career, so it really surprised me to look at our own Advanced Directives recently (my wife and I had the same boilerplate). Back then, they seemed so, well, “advanced”, but now, the wording seems really stilted and inflexible.
There is a non-profit in our state, End of Life Washington, that has made newer forms available, and I printed those and changed mine in front of witnesses as soon as I could (no lawyer needed). We can’t change my wife’s, which is fine, since her basic wishes are clear, and of course we never needed to have the same approach anyway. I keep copies of some documents in a red pocket folder near the front door, helpful for doctor visits and hospital visits.
And this is important: our adult kids know what are documents say, and where they are, even though they didn’t initially want to hear about it.
